Fiona never told Peter she was saving.
When he left for Manila, he was standing outside the bus terminal with his duffel bag half-zipped, looking annoyed at everything.
"Two months lang naman," he said. "Then I'm back."
Fiona kicked a small stone. "You say that like two months is short."
Peter laughed. "Visit me. When you get a chance."
"Manila? That's expensive."
"Chance lang. If you get a chance."
She nodded. "Okay. If I get a chance."
That night she started a note on her phone. Title: *MANILA - 2 DAYS*
It had everything.
_Bus to CDO - 350_
_Flight CDO to Manila - 1,899 if seat sale_
_Airbnb near his condo - 1,200/night_
_Food - 500_
_Extra for his favorite - Big Mac meal_
She deleted Grab, she stopped ordering milktea after class. Every extra allowance went into a GCash vault she named "Chance."
A month later, Peter called. He sounded tired. Work was loud on his end.
"Fiona, about Manila..."
"Yeah?"
"I think we should cancel the plan to visit. I mean, not cancel-cancel, just... not now. The expenses. And my schedule here is crazy. I have to do overtime every week. I don't even have time to go out."
Fiona stared at her notepad. It was already almost complete. Itinerary, terminal, which jeep to ride.
"Yeah," she said quickly. "You're right. It's expensive. I understand."
"Thank you. You're the most understanding, Fi."
After he hung up, she didn't delete the note. She booked the ticket.
October 23. 6:05 AM. Cebu Pacific. She was going to surprise him. She imagined his face when she knocked on his condo door. She imagined saying, "You said 'if you get a chance.' I got a chance."
Three days before the flight, they had a stupid fight. It wasn't even huge.
Fiona had sent him a TikTok. He left her on read for 9 hours.
"Are you busy?" she asked.
Peter: "Yes. At work. Like always."
"Okay sorry. I just wanted to share. You don't have to be like that."
Peter: "Like what? I'm working, Fiona. Not everyone has free time."
Then she got defensive, he got defensive. And then he dropped it.
"Look, maybe I need to focus on myself first. I'm overwhelmed here. This isn't working for me right now."
Fiona's chest caved in.
"Peter, don't do this. Please."
"Fiona, I need space."
"What space? You're in Manila, I'm here. How much more space do you need?"
Silence.
"Peter, if you leave... I might regret this for the rest of my life. I might miss you for the rest of my life."
"I just need to focus on me."
She clung. She called. He declined. She called again. He replied with "I'm busy."
For three days, she lived on breadcrumbs. A seen. A one-word reply. A missed call that never got returned.
The ticket was still in her email. *Your trip is coming up!*
On the fourth day of ghosting, she called one last time. He didn't answer. She typed.
> "Goodnight, Peter."
> "brutal schedule again tomorrow. I hope you'll be able to get a good rest tonight. "
No reply.
And for the first time, she didn't send a follow-up. She didn't double text. She didn't call.
She opened her notepad. That detailed itinerary she worked on for weeks. The jeep routes, the food budget, the surprise plan.
She held the delete button until it was all gone.
Then she opened Cebu Pacific. Cancel flight. The refund wasn't even half. She didn't care.
It's been a while now.
Sometimes her friends ask, "Sayang yung ticket, why did you cancel?"
She just says, "Plans changed."
Because she realized something at 2 AM, while staring at that goodnight message that never got a reply.
Love can't be a cage.
She loved him so much she wanted to keep him close, to save him, to show up at his door and fix everything with a surprise visit. But love shouldn't be shackles to tie someone down when he already said he wants to go.
Love should be a support system. Not a cage.
And if she kept clinging, she'd start to hate him. And she didn't want that. She'd rather miss him for the rest of her life than hate him over a misunderstanding.
So she lets herself miss him. From afar. Quietly.
And that's for the best, for the both of them.
~End~
