“Today I’m going to be productive.”
I said this confidently at 8:00 AM.
By 8:05 AM, I was back under the blanket.
“Five more minutes.”
Those five minutes somehow became forty-five minutes.
I finally got up, looked at myself in the mirror and said,
“Okay. New day. New me.”
My stomach immediately replied:
“Breakfast?”
New me disappeared.
Old me went straight to the kitchen. 😂
I opened the fridge.
Nothing interesting.
I closed it.
Opened it again.
Still nothing.
I stood there for five full minutes, staring inside as if a pizza would magically appear.
Then Mom shouted from the other room,
“Why are you opening the fridge again?”
“I’m checking.”
“Checking what?”
“Whether food has increased.”
Silence.
“Has it?”
“No.”
“Then close it!”
😂😂😂
After breakfast, I decided to clean my room.
I picked up one piece of clothing.
Then I found an old photo.
I sat on the bed.
Then I found another photo.
Now I was no longer cleaning.
I was conducting a full historical investigation of my life.
Two hours later, the room was exactly the same.
Except now I knew what I was wearing in 2019.
At lunchtime, someone asked,
“What do you want to eat?”
I said the most dangerous sentence in Indian households:
“Anything.”
Five minutes later:
“Poha?”
“No.”
“Upma?”
“No.”
“Roti?”
“No.”
“Rice?”
“No.”
“Then what do you want?”
I thought seriously.
“I don’t know.”
Everyone looked at me like I had personally wasted the family's resources.
😂
Evening came.
I decided to exercise.
I changed into workout clothes.
Filled my water bottle.
Put on motivational music.
Stood in front of the mirror.
“LET'S GO!”
I did three squats.
My legs said:
“We have completed our contract.”
I sat down.
Workout finished. 💀
At night, I promised myself:
“Today I’ll sleep early.”
11:00 PM — still awake.
11:30 PM — scrolling.
12:00 AM — watching random videos.
12:45 AM — suddenly remembering something embarrassing I did in 2016.
1:00 AM —
“Why did I say THAT?”
1:30 AM —
“Okay, seriously. Sleep.”
1:31 AM —
Brain:
“Remember that one time you waved back at someone who wasn't waving at you?”
Me:
“PLEASE. I BEG YOU.”
😂😂😂
Finally, I put my phone away.
Closed my eyes.
And whispered:
“Tomorrow I'll be productive.”
My brain:
“Sure.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was another perfectly normal day.
The End. 😂❤️
